Home is a special place and feeling sad is a normal response to being separated from people, places and things that give you a sense of belonging. Most people miss home at some point in their lives. For those of you who are missing home for the first time in your life, you may feel a bit overwhelmed and perhaps inadequate. Remember that everyone has his or her own tolerance for change and it may take a while to get adjusted to a new environment like college. Believe it or not: sad and lonely feelings will subside over time. Meanwhile, there are several things that you can do to cope: - Remember that missing home is normal and not a sign of weakness.
- Talk about your feelings with a family member or friend who had a similar experience. Seek out other people who may be having the same experience right now. (It takes courage to accept the fact that something is bothering you and to confront it).
- Create a “home away from home” by including familiar items, such as photos, plants and even stuffed animals, from home in your new dorm room or apartment. This may provide a sense of continuity and ease the shock of a new environment.
- Familiarize yourself with your new surroundings. If you know where buildings, classes, services etc. are located you will feel more in control.
- Establish a routine as quickly as possible. The fuller your days are, the less time you have to feel sad or lonely.
- Examine your expectations and be realistic:
* Do you expect college to be an extension of high school?
* How often do you expect to hear from parents or friends?
* Do you expect to instantly make friends? (Friendships take time to build) - Seek out new opportunities. Is there a certain club that you would like to be a member? Joining groups, can be a great way to meet other students who have similar goals, values and interests. College is an ideal time for you to “reinvent” yourself. (http://www.loyola.edu/campuslife/studentactivitiesandorganizations/index.html)
- Communicate with friends and family. Remember to do your part to stay connected.
- Keep a journal to record your feelings. This can be a good way of getting your feelings out, rather than keeping them bottled inside.
- Volunteer for a community service project. Often times, reaching out to others who are different from you or less fortunate, helps not only to get your mind off of home, but also provides you with perspective on how fortunate you are. (http://www.loyola.edu/cvs)
- Challenge yourself to be adaptable and flexible—these are essential skills for success in the “real world” and are paramount to adjusting to a new environment.
- If you see others who do not appear to be missing home, be aware that they may experience “delayed homesickness.”
- While you likely have become accustomed to parents and teachers providing you with structure and motivation—it is now time to become more autonomous and self-motivated.
If you are struggling with low self confidence, hopelessness, social anxiety or just need a safe space to vent, consider making an appointment with a counselor at the Counseling Center at x5109 or visit us at HU 150 (one flight up via the turret). The Loyola College Counseling Center offers a group called Connections for first year students, free counseling and referral services. Still in need of things to do? Or need other sources of support? Consider… - Talking with your RA or Campus Ministry (x2222)
- http://www.baltimorecollegetown.org and get information about the free collegetown shuttle to area attractions
- Attending Loyola College and neighboring university sporting events
- Visiting the Fitness and Aquatic Center
- Office of Student Activities events like Best of Baltimore and Late Night
- Creating a “Hometown Scrapbook” and share it with others when you are feeling lonely
Adapted from U of Dayton, U of London, Harvard University, SUNY-Buffalo and Dr. Will S. Keim ‘s websites. |
