The Ultimate Personal Violation
Rape: A crime of violence, where sex is only the vehicle used to deliver the pain, control, and humiliation. It is probably the most horrible crime that can happen to anyone, short of murder. Yet, it is a crime in which the victim is often perceived to be the wrongdoer. Rape is not done because the rapist is at that moment sexually deprived. Rape is the ultimate violation of the emotional self.
Types of Rape
- Forcible - when the rapist uses physical force or a weapon to obtain his goal.
- Non-forcible - when the rapist uses verbal intimidation, threat, duress, or other non-physical methods.
Rape Law Is Gender Neutral: man to man, women to women, women to men, man to woman, date rape, victim to victim, gang rape, stranger rape, acquaintance rape, marital rape, infamily rape.
Last Option: submission so you can report it, may or may not help you to stay alive.
Date Rape (Do's and Don't's)
- Set limits at the start.
- Communicate those limits clearly, ESP doesn't work.
- Trust your instincts. If a situation doesn't feel right, change the situation or get away from it.
- Be aware of sex-role stereotypes__ such as " It's macho to score" and "Being assertive is unfeminine." These attitudes get in the way of honest relationships.
- Speak up when others joke or talk about their sexual conquests. Let others know where you stand.
- Party Time ? Remember, drugs and alcohol decrease your ability to take care of yourself and make sensible decisions.
Don't Fall for Tired Old Lines - Read Between Them
- How about an intimate dinner for two at my place?
- Want to come up and listen to my new CD?
- Your roommate's out for the evening. Let's study at your place.
First date or blind date? Check him out with friends. Go to a public place__a movie, restaurant, or campus event__and with friends, not alone.
- Don't leave a party, concert, or bar with someone you just met, or don't know well, no matter how charming.
- Be wary of behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable. If it persists, leave.
- Stand up for yourself. If someone is pressuring you, say that you don't like it, and mean it.
Men: Pay Attention and Think with Your Brain
Do not assume you both want the same degree of intimacy.
- If you have any doubts....Stop, Ask, Clarify, Protect yourself from a charge of rape because you didn't ask
- It's OK not to "score" Real men can take 'no' for an answer.
- Being drunk or stoned is no excuse. Having sex with someone who is, is rape.
- Gang rape: a dare, a joke, a party game? No. It's rape, It's wrong. It's a crime!
- Men can be victims of rape and have the same rights to counseling and legal action as women do.
An acquaintance can be a co-worker, boss, boyfriend/girlfriend, other male/female, friend, or relative.
- In the United States, 1.3 women are raped every minute. That results in 78 rapes each hour, 1872 rapes each day, 56,160 rapes each month and 683,280 rapes each year.
- The United States has the world's highest rape rate of the countries that publish such statistics---4 times higher than Germany, 13 times higher than England, and 20 times higher than Japan.
- 1 out of every 3 American women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.
- 1 in 7 women will be raped by her husband.
- 61% of all rape cases are victims less than 18 years old. 22% are between the ages of 18 and 24.
- 78% of rape victims know the attacker.
- In a survey of college women, 38% reported sexual victimizations which met the legal definition of a rape or attempted rape, yet only 1 out of every 25 reported their assault to the police.
- 1 in 4 college women have either been raped or suffered attempted rape.
- In a study of college students, 35% of men indicated some likelihood that they would commit a violent rape of a woman who had fended off an advance if they were assured of getting away with it.
- 1 in 12 male students surveyed had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape. Furthermore, 84% of the men who had committed such acts said what they had done was definitely not rape.
- 75% of male students and 55% of female students involved in acquaintance rape had been drinking or using drugs.
- Rape has a devastating impact on the mental health of victims. 31% of all victims develop Rape-Related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (RR-PTSD) sometime in their lifetimes. Based on U.S. Census reports on the number of women in the United States, 1.3 million women currently have RR-PTSD, 3.8 million women have previously had RR-PTSD, and roughly, 211,000 women will develop RR-PTSD each year. When compared with non-victims, rape victims have been found to be 8.7 times more likely to attempt suicide.
- Only 16% of rapes are ever reported to the police. In a survey of victims who did not report rape or attempted rape to the police, the following was found as to why no report was made: 43% thought nothing could be done, 27% felt it was a private matter, 12% were afraid of police response, and 12% felt it was not important enough.
For men only
It's never all right to force yourself on a woman, even if
- She teases you or dresses provocatively
- She says "no" and you think she means "yes"
- You've had sex with her before
- You've paid for a night on the town or an expensive gift
- You've been dating a long time and you think it's time
Any attempt to unlawfully apply the least actual force to the person of another, constitutes an assault it is sufficient that there is an apparent ability to carry out such intention. Rushing, aiming a blow or pointing a weapon, loaded or unloaded, at another is an assault, as well as the discharging of a weapon merely to frighten another. (If you are being assaulted you may discharge a weapon to frighten the attacker off.)
- 60% of all rapes are by acquaintance, and is not for sex, but for the violence.