Coping with the Substance Use of a Loved One

1. Learn About Addiction

Educate yourself by knowing what addiction is and what to expect when someone suffers with addiction. This will help you set healthy boundaries and realistic expectations. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration offers additional information about substance abuse and a free referral helpline.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

Addiction is a challenging disease. The person with an addiction may try to push boundaries because of their dependence on substances. It may be necessary to take a step back and identify the boundaries you have, so that your life is not negatively impacted by the needs of a person using substances. Ultimately, you are not responsible for your loved one’s substance use and do not have the power to “fix” that person. A person struggling with substance misuse must be motivated for sobriety to make recovery possible.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

It is important to realize that if you return home with a caregiver/parent or loved one who has an addiction, they will not suddenly be free from their addiction without long-term therapeutic work. Setting realistic expectations will help you anticipate what behaviors you may need to cope with and aid you in creating appropriate boundaries.

4. Do Not Use Substances With The Person Who Has An Addiction

This sends a message that you are tolerant of their use of substances, while also putting yourself at risk for developing an addiction.

5. Finding A Healthy Support System

6. Withstand The Urge To Rescue Or Please

You might feel the need to please or rescue a loved one from certain situations. While setting boundaries or saying no may cause you to feel guilty, you do not have to sacrifice your comfort of safety to please your loved one. It is not within your power to cure your loved one’s addiction.

7. Practice Self-care And Seek Counseling Or Consultation

Supporting a loved one struggling with substance abuse can be demanding and may impact your own mental health. Talking to a counselor and practicing healthy habits will not change your experience overnight, but it is an important first step toward living a healthier life and processing the emotions that may come with supporting a loved one. Additionally, a counselor can help you reflect on your own boundaries and how you can communicate those to others. Review campus and additional resources below.